Proverbs 12:23 The prudent keep their knowledge to themselves, but a fool’s heart blurts out folly. Jack Wellman November 9, 2016 at 12:00 pm. They need to know to tell an adult as soon as they can. So good to hear from you my friend. Some spouses don't share passwords to each other e-mails and still mantain happy marriages. August 2, 2013 — Sandra Upson. I started to have painful periods. Reply. Potentially Damaging Secrets: Sometimes, kids are asked to keep secrets with the best of intentions, but those secrets can still be damaging. OK, so we all know that keeping secrets in relationships is bad, right? As a result, you'd like to get revenge by telling her "secret" to her spouse. In the grand scheme of things, it's a bad idea to keep major secrets from your partner. But if you’re doing these things, you might be taking your “privacy” to the extreme by being overly secretive about your relationship. That's a secret that's not OK to keep at all. Second, feelings of disagreement have to settle somewhere, and when they are unresolved, they usually turn into resentment. Quietly disagreeing with a decision a spouse makes undermines the relationship in two ways. That aside I'd like to talk about secrets in general. 10 Differences Between Keeping Your Relationship Private & Keeping It A Secret. If a friend tells you what she bought Sue for her birthday, it is ok to keep that a secret. Proverbs 25:9 When arguing with your neighbor, d on’t betray another person’s secret. Real fam, do you think it is EVER ok to keep a secret from bae? Is it OK to keep this a secret from my mom? My mother and I have a very close relationship. Tell them you will believe them, even if the secret is about someone you know. You are entitled every bit of privacy you want. Disagreement. 2. It’ll make you feel guilty, and put you on edge. But that promise ruined my Ramadan, made me unhappy all through eid and its just generally really making me very miserable. If you are leaning toward keeping your secret, make sure you take into account how this creates distance in your relationship (even if only in a small way) – is it a problem? 1 0. mccmb02. 4 Reasons Why Keeping Secrets Can Damage A Relationship 1. Keeping financial secrets "is almost never a good sign" and usually signals other, unresolved relationship problems, says Eric Dammann, PhD, a New York-based clinical psychologist and financial coach. Try to remember that you can only talk about that secret with the person who told it to you. 4. Keeping spending secrets is a major violation of trust and a fast track to disaster. You might be able to accept secrecy knowing that, on a precise date, things are going to be changing. There are some secrets it's OK to keep from your partner. I could barely function. And while keeping a secret and lying outright are different behaviors, a parent whose example puts secrets and lies in similar strata can be showing a child that it’s ok to be only partially honest about important things. It also means that I'm being incredibly dishonest with another friend, and risking losing that friendship. Well, yes and no. Maybe You Shouldn't, Even If You Can. Some things are ok though, if it is needed to know about to support you. Make sure you both know that it is a secret. “Keeping secrets” is a bit different from lying or being dishonest. The problem is, there really are some secrets you can keep. Children need to know they should never keep secrets that break safety rules for private body parts. I promised a friend that I would keep a secret. That is a great exception. It was 5 days of hell. I guess that’s how that fits in Joe. Tough Love; By Averi Clements; Lots of couples prefer to keep their love lives quiet and there’s nothing wrong with that. It is normal. I am going to college and staying with my brother and his wife. January 25, 2012 — Maria Konnikova. Sure. My problem is the medication that stops my periods is also a birth control. Mind. As long as they are both OK with it and have no reasons to suspect each other - that's fine. I could barely function. First, it’s a silent lie. However, keeping secrets is wrong if it means someone else could get hurt or get into big trouble. Most secrets in relationships aren't good — that much is true. These 9 subjects are expert-approved ones. Posted Jul 06, 2017 Dishonesty equals disunity. If you love someone, you shouldn’t find it easy to deceive them, even if you’re just lying by omission rather than lying to their face. It was 5 days of hell. flameoftherhine. I am going to college and staying with my brother and his wife. 1. From your question description, it seems that: 1) You are not in a good relationship with your sister. My doctor put me on medication that stopped my periods. Reassure your children that it is okay to break a promise not to tell a secret about touching. My problem is the medication that stops my periods is also a birth control. If you're not quite ready to spill your guts and keep the mess under cover, you can still get the best parts of secret-keeping out of your daily life right now. I have this friend from my closest friend group, who used to like me and flirt even after he got engaged. I think some secrets are ok. How does that fit into what you wrote, Jack? Csummers June 12, 2016, 7:36am #11. You don’t need to tell your mom everything. It is wonderful. I don’t have these terrible pains each month. For example, if you know that a kid says he’s going to beat someone up or steal something, then that’s a secret you should tell to an adult who can help. Knowing when to keep things to yourself and when to fess up to your man isn’t nearly as tricky as you might think. Despite popular belief having a best friend doesn't mean you keep nothing from them. The same goes for him if the shoe was on the other foot. Before knowing he had a girlfriend and planed to get married I flirted back, but after finding out I distanced myself. When someone tells you a secret, listen very closely to the secret. Most secrets are ok to keep and not tell anyone else. Proverbs 11:13 A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence. It’s ok to fantasize about what an ex did in bed every now and then. If your man knows you’re keeping secrets or those secrets come out when you least expect it, he might not trust you anymore. For example, if a husband is planning a surprise birthday party for his wife, that’s a “secret” that’s being kept. Just keep these fantasies to yourself to protect your partner’s ego. Keeping Secrets Is Bad for You—This Is Why Hiding information from others is not as stressful as thinking about it. If you decide to disclose your secret to your partner, then think about the best way to do this, anticipate the possible responses, and consider the best ways to handle those responses. 1 decade ago. June 12, 2016, 9:20am #12. Is it ok to keep a secret like this? Most people struggle to keep secrets from their partner and suffer from guilt when they do, and that’s the way it should be. Telltale Language Reveals Who Is Keeping a Secret. They got married and seem happy now. But it’s quite another keeping a relationship secret indefinitely. It is wonderful. While hiding money isn't necessarily indicative of infidelity, he says, it usually is "a way of avoiding" deeper problems in the relationship. I figure I'm starting to hate this girl just because I promised to keep things a secret. 4. It all depends on the secret. You are an adult with your own life. I don’t have these terrible pains each month. Keeping secrets can impact relationships with friends, classmates, and co-workers. 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