Well, I'm glad that's settled. After pretending to argue, Trump and Putin agreed that Russia did not meddle in our Election. If they had, Hillary might have lost.

Meanwhile, Trump sent Ivanka to attend the main conference of world leaders. It must have been Take Your Daughter to Work day.

The North Koreans bring to mind Sarah Palin. They can see Alaska from their missile sites.

Hurray -- we have stamped out heroin -- the word, that is. The media has replaced it with the sanitized word, opiates.

Suburban white kids are on opiates. In the ghettos, it's heroin.
It was nice to see the First Family relaxing at Camp Mara-Lago-David.

As the president delegates the wars to the military, he may promote Jared Kushner from son-in-law to general.

Congress "toning down the rhetoric" following the baseball shooting reminds me of a Christmas cease  fire. By New Years, it's "lock and load".

If love of country was measured by the size of their flags, car dealers would be the most patriotic Americans -- singing "America the Beautiful" while turning back speedometers.
The president's trip is going well. Visiting five coutries, he now knows where those countries are.

Perfect timing. President Trump overseas, seeking forgiveness from the three major religions for his cruel budget back home.

In Jerusalem wearing his "Make America Great" yarmulke, he stood reverently at the Western Wall and prayed that no Mexicans would ever get past it.

With impressive insight, he revealed that "the Israeli's want peace and the Palestinians want peace." No need for further depth, the Nobel Prize awaits.

Quotes of the Week:

"I get great intel. When you're famous, they let you have it."

"Jim, I hope you can see your way clear to not writing anything down when you leave."

"No big deal. No there there. That's just the way he talks." Right. He speaks fluent buffoon.

If this isn't Watergate, why is our long national nightmare just beginning?

Conservatives unite! It is not enough for James Comey to be fired. President Hillary Clinton should be impeached.

On July 7, 2016, Comey failed to indict Hillary. Which is why she was elected president in November.

If Comey had done his job last July, Donald Trump would be president today.

Will Fox News and the right wing never accept the fact that Hillary won?

This whole situation reminds me of Watergate, when Gerald Ford had to resign and Richard Nixon became president.
With the new White House tax proposal, she's back. Put your hands together and give it up for Ms. Rosie Scenario!

Rosie will now sing her smash hit from the 80s, "When the Tide is Up, the Boats are Up".

Poor Rosie was missing for some time. She was on one of the boats that sank.

It didn't take the Obamas long to hop on the lecture circuit gravy train in the neighborhood of $400K per speech. Same neighborhood where Trump Tower is. Just sayin'.

Which raises my respect for Jimmy Carter who upon leaving the White House took up carpentry.
Truth be told, isn't the country better off if Trump plays more golf?

In the budget negotiations, the wall is off the table. And Mexico should pay for the table.

Bad NATO is now good NATO. Bad currency manipulating China is now good China. With the North Korean threat on the table, we need the good China.

Michael Flynn's new book: "Prison Reform Now".

Trump delivered a forceful speech decrying the Holocaust. Or as Breitbart called it, fake news.
If Missouri paves a Christian playground, does that constitute the establishment of a religion? Not unless the tar is mixed with feathers.

A clarification of the carrier, USS Carl Vinson: It was indeed headed south to warn the belligerent Australians.
April 15, 1912: The sinking of the Titanic. April 15, 2017: The Titanic becomes the symbol of the Trump ship of state.

We recently dropped a 22 thousand pound bomb on Afghanistan. That is one big bomb. It's as if we dropped the entire Trump administration on Afghanistan.

"I see where sexual harassment lives on at Fox News."
"Oh really?"
"No -- O'Reilly."

One missile strike in Syria. One bomb in Afghanistan. The parade down Fifth Avenue should be any day now.
Here's a dance that's all the rave
Strut around your big enclave.

Talk into your microwave
And do the Mar-a-Lago Tango.

A dance of betrayal around the floor
With a healthcare plan that screws the poor.
As corporations beg for more
That's the Mar-a-Lago Tango.

Climate change a hoax and that's a fact
So let's crank up the old smoke stacks.
Do the budget boogie, Meals on Wheels goes away
Then bend over forward for the NRA.

Kill Big Bird -- a prime suspect.
Put up a wall and make us write the check.
Your campaign promises were mostly dreck
As is the Mar-a-Lago Tango.

To slash federal programs, make a vow
Raising taxes, you won't allow.
Put your family on the payroll now.
And do the Mar-a-Lago Tango.