Atlanta falls. Again. General Sherman lives.

The groundhog saw his shadow. Six more weeks till World War III.

At the prayer breakfast from hell, Trump called for tearing down the wall between church and state. And the atheists are going to pay for it.

He then gave a shout out to his pal, Frederick Douglass, insulted the Jews and banned the singing of the Australian song, "Waltzing Matilda".

Thus ended Week Two.

As I watch the news, is it real, is it fake?
Are these alternate facts, is truth taking a break?
I say under my breath: "WTF?"
Were the numbers all rigged, what's the size of the crowd?
Bring the waterboard back, I hear it's allowed.
Any honesty left? As I said, "WTF?"

What's this planet we're on, is it still Mother Earth?
This may not be the universe of my birth.
Where the only reality is disbelief
Courtesy of our Tweeter-In-Chief.

He signs his own laws, a dictatorial task
As his daughter applauds. Is it legal? Don't ask.
There'll be no health care left. "WTF?"
Welcome back home, you would stay if you could.
Sorry to say your green card is no good.
Airports running amok, as i said, "What the F---?"

This week's alternate facts: The Senate Subcommittee on the Size of the Inaugural Crowd will subpoena all 34 million people who attended the Inauguration.

The ghost of Martin Luther King removed his own bust from the Oval Office and returned it a few hours later.

President Trump went to CIA headquarters to tell the employees they were no longer Nazis.
Twinkle, Twinkle little czar
Putin made you what you are.
He hacked away at Hillary
Attacking our democracy.
Welcome to the puppet show
President Pinocchio.

Ringling Brothers may be shutting down but a bigger circus with more clowns opens on Friday.

The new ringmaster will use his bull hook on the GOP elephants to make them perform the cruel stunt of simultaneously repealing and replacing Obamacare while standing on two legs.

The downside of circus life is cleaning up after the elephants.

I don't know how the Supreme Court will rule in the case regarding an Asian-member band called the Slants. Is there an occidental band called the Rounds?

The Patent and Trademark office has in fact, registered the bands White Trash, Whores from Hell, Hookers & Blow, the Pricks and the Lawrence Welk Orchestra.

Senator Sessions, do you believe that grabbing a woman's genitals constitutes sexual assault? Well, prior to my nomination for attorney general, no. But now that I am the nominee, absolutely.

Trump wants the Republicans to repeal and replace Obamacare almost simultaneously. How can they do that? Repeal Obamacare simply by rebranding it, Trumpcare. Replace Obamacare the same way. Obamacare is history and everybody wins.

Watch for a furious and vindictive president-elect hitting back at CNN: "Wolf Blitzer. Mud Wresting. Naked. Situation Room? Just saying."
At this point we can only speculate on what sort of dirt the Russians have on Trump. It couldn't be anymore than what we Americans have on him.

In fact, Trump was so disgraced, we elected him president.

Let's say it comes out that Trump has a Russian mistress. He would still have time to marry her by January 20.

By the way, if Meryl Streep went on "Saturday Night Live" and recited a passage from the musical "Hamilton", Trump could hit three targets with one tweet -- giving him more time to govern. 
Correct me if I'm right: the Russians hacked Arnold Schwarzenegger's performance on "Celebrity Apprentice". 

Joe Biden tells Donald Trump to "grow up and become an adult". Thus, Joe's opening salvo for 2020. Game on!

President-elect Trump. When that hyphen disappears, abandon all hope.

Or, perhaps in his Inaugural Address, he will be in touch with his better angels. Those guys have been out of work for a long time.

In Russia threat denial, Trump sounds like Scarlett O'Hara: "Oh, fiddle dee dee, I just hate all this talk of cyber war war war!"
Forget the FBI, the Russians and the Electoral College. Hillary lost because she didn't win over enough people who bowl.

Regarding Trump, when you don't win the popular vote, you don't have to be that popular.

Kellyanne Conway will be a Trump Administration's presidential counselor. Her official duty: Serving credibility where none exists.

And this true quote from Obama: "If Donald Trump succeeds the country succeeds." What country -- Russia?

The Rockettes will be at the Inaugural but they may just stand still. The Trump people have high hopes to get Wayne Newton, Pat Boone and the one living Beach Boy.