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The n-word has never appeared in this space, nor will it today.  So let's suppose that the word engraved on a rock at Rick Perry's hunting lodge was "Honkyhead".

"Honkyhead" joins the growing list of items in Perry's baggage, along with "Social Security Ponzi scheme," "lethal injection boasting," "tongue-tied speaking," and "Mexico invading".

Perry says the "Honkyhead" rock had been painted over.  I believe the term is whitewashed.

Why didn't Nixon burn the tapes?  Why didn't Perry destroy the rock?  The torch is passed.

Fans of Chris Christie should rebut the cruel ridiculing of the governor.  How?  Simply by saying -- "to you, he's fat.  To us, he's too big to fail."

Christie's record as governor seems too liberal for far-right Republicans.  Perhaps he could earn their applause if he executed several hundred prisoners.

Oh, happy day!  The federal government was not only funded through this past weekend, but all the way to November 18!  After that, funding of the government will be implemented along the lines of Alcoholics Anonymous:  One day at a time.

 

Dare we dream of this headline?  "Female NASCAR racing comes to Saudi Arabia!"

Too much of a stretch?  How about "First Saudi woman to get driver's license divorces her husband saying, "Who needs him?"

The sad fact is that Saudi women have been granted to vote, but they are still driven.

That's right, Saudi women will have to walk to the polling places unless a man drives them.   That country is more than ready for "Mad Men".

 

Rick Perry will undergo elective surgery to attach his disjointed nouns and verbs.

Looking at Perry's goofy sentences in Florida recently, one may conclude that the governor is anti-semantic.

Why did Nancy Reagan invite New Jersey Governor Chris Christie to speak at the Reagan Library?  The only reason I can think of was to make Nancy an honorary Jersey girl.

This is part of Christie's Big Denial Tour -- visiting four states to announce that he is not running:  "Ya, gotta problem widdat?"

 

It has been several days since the military policy "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" expired and things are going smoothly.   Not one four-start general has complained about his bunkmate.

Every morning during reveille, the buglers now play show tunes.

Hollywood is considering a remake of the movie "Patton" with Paula Poundstone in the title role.

The repeal is an Obama campaign promise kept.  Now, on to easier stuff, like changing the way Washington works.

 

I like the newly assertive President Obama as he draws a line in the fog.

Boehner:  "It's my way or the highway."

Obama:  "It's my way or my way."

Obama:  "Let the Bush tax cuts expire."

Boehner:  "Let the Obama presidency expire."

The Republicans call President Obama's proposals class warfare.  Hey, what's one more war when we are getting so used to it?

The poster child for President Obama's tax increase, Warren Buffett's secretary pays a higher tax rate than her multibillion-dollar boss.  I wonder how she feels about being mentioned in the media more often than Lindsay Lohan.

"Warren Buffett's secretary," is now the official mantra of the Democrats who seem to be likening her situation to sweatshop labor.

We don't know Warren Buffett's secretary's name, so I'll just call her WBS.  The IRS headquarters in Washington should be renamed the WBS Building.

And WBS should at least get a pay raise.

The Eleventh Commandment, according to Rev. Pat Robertson:  Thou shalt not divorce thy spouse, unless said spouse hath Alzheimer's.

Yea, verily, thou shalt not taketh seriously the words of Robertson concerning Alzheimer's now that he himself is verily out of his mind.

An ample excuse if ever there was one for Mrs. Robertson to fee the nest.

We must pray for Pat Robertson that he will see the error of his ways repent -- and finally shutteth the h--l up.

Rick Perry is not the first politician receiving support from a pharmaceutical company.   In his case, Merck inoculated the governor with small doses of a miracle vaccine known as cash.

"If you are saying that I can be bought for $5,000, I'm offended," said Perry.  He neglected to say what his actual sticker price would be.

Former congressman Anthony ("Check Me Out") Weiner is back in the news.  After 90 years, his NY district has elected a Republican congressman.  It was a referendum on Obama's record and Weiner's package.

That super committee on deficit reduction is moving along smoothly toward Thanksgiving when the committee report is due.  Only yesterday, they reached a unanimous agreement that it just might rain.

President Obama's jobs bill has been delivered to Congress.  The bill will lie in repose in the rotunda of the Capitol for a period of respectful mourning.

Fighting back the usual tears, John Boenher said, "we did all we could to save the bill, including euthanasia."

The two main sponsors of this week's Republican debate were Cadillac and Exxon-Mobil.  Now that's what I call perfect product placement.

Republican talking points are beginning to take shape:  repeal of Obamacare will end the war in Afghanistan and give you a kitchen floor that shines.  And Rick Perry's state of Texas is a Ponzi scheme.