Obama sends Biden to the NAACP Convention.  Makes sense.  Biden is blacker.

In this record heat wave, Romney is shipping his money to a cooler country.

In Washington, the temperature and the number of senators getting free health care are in the triple digits.

(There are 100 senators).  You're welcome.

This just in:  In Florida, a white voter has been accidentally profiled.

This is approximately Day 300 in the futile search for the Republican alternative to Obamacare.

John Roberts new position on Roe v Wade:  It's not a fetus, it's a tax

John Roberts is a quiet man and well versed in the law.
When he arrived upon the Court, the right liked what it saw.
His opinions coincided with Scalia totally.

Like Citizens United, that profound obscenity.

They then took up Obamacare -- to kill it, a slam dunk.
Roberts' family was worried -- had he slipped into a funk?
He's reading Karl Marx and he's dropping LSD
He's become a couch potato watching MSNBC.

He dusted off his college albums of the Grateful Dead
And had a vision that a penalty is just a tax instead.
His ruling now is history that liberals would defend.
All hail the new John Roberts -- Barak Obama's new best friend.

The Supreme Court upholds part of the Arizona immigration law.  Justice Sotomayor is carded going to work.

Supremes uphold Obamacare:  Mitt Romney's reaction:  "We won!"

Chief Justice John Roberts solely responsible for saving Obamacare.  Has first good night sleep since his Citizens United vote.

Which backfires with a SuperPac commercial showing Roberts morphing into Rachael Maddow.

Scalia greets Roberts with obscene Italian hand gesture.

House Republicans vow to abolish Obamacare -- and while they are at it -- Brown vs Board of Education.

As Republicans dream of a future of Bush-era policies, I assume Dick Cheney is again being vetted for VP.

What is the point of charging Eric Holder with Contempt of Congress?  Everybody in this country has contempt of Congress.

President Obama is using Executive Privilege in the Holder case.  Executive Privilege is a president's way of saying, "end of story."

At least until the Supreme Court says, "not quite."

Bristol Palin has a reality show.  If she and her ditzy family constitute reality, I may fly Zen Airlines to the nearest alternative universe.

I think I know why President Obama made the statement that the private sector is doing fine.  By blowing the election now, he is free to work on other things between now and November.

After making the statement, Obama sent David Axelrod to face the media and attempt to clarify the statement -- which was painful to watch.   in this situation, the Giant slew David.

It is never a good time for a candidate to say that the private sector is doing fine.  Which is why there is no Alf Landon Presidential Library.

A two-term president says, "I feel your pain."  A one-term president says, "You're doing fine."

The vote in Wisconsin was a wake up call for President Obama.  Michelle woke him up and said, "guess who is still governor of Wisconsin?"

Mitt Romney's reaction was predictable:  "My business experience saved Governor Walker."

Now that Governor Scott Walker will not become the Hosni Mubarak of Wisconsin, he will respond by outlawing Labor Day.

If Walker trashes unions and forms a right-to-work state, Wisconsin will be the northernmost part of the Confederacy.

The tune, "On Wisconsin" will be replaced by "Dixie".

Oh goody, Facebook is now public.  But please, everyone, keep it out of my face.

Since when was Facebook anything but public?  Since its invention by that annoying snot nose, Zuckerberg, this narcissistic plague has been as public as oxygen.

Networking during a revolution or natural disaster -- fine.  Assuming that hundreds of your new found "friends" including, perhaps, the odd axe murderer care what you had for lunch or that you love spring time -- not only not fine but stupid.

One more thing Facebook fans.  You are about to be strip searched for personal information and targeted by advertising predators -- so just relax and enjoy it.

Meanwhile, I will dream of a time when friends were, well, friends.  

Thanks to President Obama, gays haven't been this thrilled since Liza Minelli's last comeback.

Criticizing marriage equality, Romney should avoid the subject of marriage altogether considering that his LDS great-grandfather was into multiple choice.

Obama had been "evolving" on same sex marriage for years.  The republicans still don't believe in evolution.

This will be the only issue in the  remaining presidential race because it is the only issue everybody understands -- even the boobs who think that Florida is on the Pacific Ocean.

During Obama's recent trip to Afghanistan, he and Hamid Karzai sat down and signed an agreement to continue being clueless about Afghanistan's future.

France's Sarkozy was defeated when the voters could no longer ignore the fact that he is less than half as tall as Charles de Gaulle.

Arizona's governor, Jan Brewer, signs the defunding of Planned Parenthood in her state.  She will be awarded the Good Conduct Medal in the War on Women.

One of Romney's strongest bragging points is that he saved the Salt Lake City Olympics ten years ago. This accomplishment would make a strong impression on the voters were he running for mayor of Salt Lake City.  

Victoria's Secret March

For a federal job you can't refuse

That offers travel, sex and booze

You gotta choose -- the Secret Service.

From Salvador to Timbuktu 

A brothel's waiting there for you

With a discount to -- the Secret Service.

Before we hit the town each night

The Agent's Manual says

We must draw straws and the shortest drawn

Have to go protect the Prez.

And it cannot be denied

It's our Secret Service pride.

We get serviced far and wide

And that's no secret.