Walter J. Palmer, prominent poacher, dentist and Lion King, shot Cecil, the prized protected lion - with a bow and arrow in Zimbabwe. The doctor claimed the arrow was tipped with novacaine in order to give Cecil a root canal.

Zimbabwe wants to extradite Dr. Palmer to give him a fair trial before mounting his head on a wall.  

Defending the doctor, the National Bow & Arrow Association issued a statement: Bows and Arrows don't kill lions -- dentists kill lions.
See the USA in your Chevrolet
Just relax -- try to enjoy the ride.
In this computer age, your brakes may disengage
As your steering mechanism up and dies.
Many cars will be recalled sooner or later
Let's hope before you are recalled by your creator.
Better say a prayer -- your airbag has no air,
But we all love our computers, so who cares?
Prediction: By the end of the week, Donald Trump will say that Bill Cosby is a war hero.

The deal with Iran is already successful. We have beaten them to Pluto.
You now have a joint account
As the records show.

With some guy in China
You don't even know.
His name is Wong or Ling
And hacking is his thing
As he sits at his computer
In Beijing.
Republicans owe it to the country to narrow the field down to Christie and Trump. We deserve dueling gasbags for rollicking mid-summer amusement.

Dare we dream of Donald Trump one day becoming Ambassador to Mexico?

Following it's investigation, the FBI has concluded that white churches in the South are fireproof.

I admire the pope. Too bad the Republicans don't have one.

Pope Francis's encyclical on the environment answers to a higher power: Al Gore.

Guy goes to confession and says, "Father I had three children from three extra-marital affairs.  And I don't recycle."
The priest says, "my son, it is never too late to recycle."

Donald Trump's announcement is good news for America. When he's that full of himself he could explode -- an unlimited source of natural gas without fracking.

Let's assume, just for the moment, that the election will narrow down to Jeb vs Hillary. Hillary, the wife of Bill, who beat her opponent's father, George HW. She would run against the man whose brother, George W beat her husband's vice president, Al Gore. The election was determined by a disputed vote count in Florida whose governor was Jeb.

And they say Europeans are incestuous.

Hot New Democratic candidate, Lincoln Chafee would be better named Coolidge Chafee. He proposes adopting the metric system. Fear not, he doesn't have a half-kilogram of a chance.

Lindsay Graham says as president his White House would have "revolving" First Ladies for whom we can assume he would have absolutely no sexual attraction.  We have seen this before.

Let's be fair and say that Dennis Hastert is a good man. His favorite charity is The High School Wrestling Protection Fund.
How many Republican candidates are there now -- 36? All are positioning themselves to defeat Hillary. In 2016? No, in 2020.

The latest to throw his dunce cap into the ring: Rick Perry. He wears his emotions on his sleeve, along with the names of the cabinet departments he would shut down.

When Jeb Bush officially announces, his milking of the campaign cash cow will be limited. The longer Jeb waits, the more exhausted that poor cow gets.

Wow. $2 billion in social security checks were mailed to former Nazis living in the U.S. Will the checks stop when they die? Probably not. 

The TSA missed 78 out of 80 guns, knives and explosives carried on to planes. Your suspicion is correct. You are the only one who sets off the metal detector.