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Stabbed in the back! By our newest enemy, al qaeda Canada.

The most dangerous thing about those Canadians is that they look just like us, eh?

What other president could travel to Singapore, meet with the North Koreans, declare war on Canada and insult the entire Western World while reading "Diplomacy for Dummies" at the same time?

Bring on a Nobel Prize for Lunacy.
The Supreme Court ruled in favor of religious freedom for Christian bakers. Now, what about Christian butchers? (Slicing is speech).

Can a Christian butcher be forced to make sausages for a gay Polish wedding reception?

Can a Christian shoemaker be forced to save a gay person's sole?

Ain't religious freedom weird? "Don't take away our bigotry."
Game on in Singapore. Little Rocket Man vs Big Rocket Moron.

Or is it rope-a-dope between two dopes?

If North Korea gives us their nukes, we will lift the sanctions. Otherwise, they will have to deal with John Bolton, our Secretary of Armageddon.

Bolton is already in Singapore where customs officials searched his mustache for weapons. 
Separating families at the border. My God, we have reinvented day care.

And the parents don't even get a claim check.

If Trump became transgendered, her name would be Roseanne.

In cancelling "Roseanne" ABC went too far. They still love her in the Red States where Alabama wants to giver her her own plantation.
Along comes Oliver North and other sages to reveal the cause of school shooting number 244 or whatever: Ritalin, abortion, school design and I suppose frogs, boils and Hawaiian volcanoes.

What did Col North use to shoot the Viet Cong? Loaded crackpot opinions?

Flags were at half staff nationwide to mourn the death of the children and of sanity.

At this rate we might as well leave the flags at half staff permanently.
Michael Cohen is living the American dream -- to become a lawyer and the owner of a cab company, a money laundry and The Swamp.

Cohen formed a shadow company called Essential Consultants to which AT&T paid $50K per month. Did Ma Bell get her money's worth? The shadow knows.

Essential Consultants was originally set up for the purpose of delivering hush money to porn star Stormy Daniels -- an election year essential, hence the name.

Poor old Ma Bell was exasperated saying, "if I knew that my money was going to that hussy, i never would have voted for Donald Trump."
I see where the State Department wants to regain its old "swagger". Swagger seminars will include teaching department officials how to walk like John Wayne.

The EPA has the swagger thing down pat. When Scott Pruitt accepts swag from lobbyists, he positively struts.

If Trump gets the Nobel Prize, he will swagger and thumb his nose at the same time.

To be honest, this administration needs more swagger like the Klan needs more Republicans.
John Kelly calls Trump an idiot. Truth serum in the water supply?

Comedian Michelle Wolf didn't go "too far". She went too long. By the next morning, some of the audience was still in a state of cringe.

Next year, the Correspondence dinner will play it safe. They have already booked a Mister Rogers impersonator.

No guns will be permitted at Mike Pence's Friday address at the NRA convention. White-haired lives matter.
Now that Raul Castro has stepped down in Cuba -- we must remember his late brother, Fidel, who owed his life to the US. Every time the CIA tried to assassinate him they screwed up.

Speaking of dictators, Trump's new chief attorney, Rudy Giuliani, reaches the pinnacle of his career -- supreme, overseer of the lawyers, the lawyers' lawyers and the lawyers' lawyers' lawyer.

Like a general, Rudy should be given a uniform with decorations including the Porn Star Payoff Medal and the Presidential Fixers Citation.

Since Jeff Sessions threatens to quit if Rod Rosenstein is fired, Washington is  hunkering down for the coming massacre, Saturday night or otherwise.  Fully prepared, the media has already stockpiled the Pulitzer prizes.  
"Mission Accomplished!" He knocked Stormy Daniels off the front page.

"Mission Accomplished!" He dropped a bomb on James Comey's book tour.

"Mission Accomplished!" In a brilliant maneuver he distracted the media, as reporters flocked to Google to find out who the hell Scooter Libby is.

When the FBI searched Michael Cohen's office and seized his phone, his computer and his personal collection of Stormy Daniels movies, Trump drew a red line in the sand.

Do you think he will fire Bob Mueller?
He's backed into a corner, it's true.
Do you think he will pardon Bill Cosby?
I wouldn't put it past him, would you?

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