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Trying to follow the Paul Manafort trial is like playing chess after drinking four straight shots of vodka.

Key witness and varsity plea-bargainer, Rick Gates, confessed to committing crimes with Manafort, while also stealing from him -- or robbing Peter to rob Paul.

Gates pleaded guilty to wiring money from Cypress to Great Britain and to the US without paying taxes. There may have been money laundries in Ukraine, Rangoon, Oz and Ivanka's purse.

This is like watching a bad contortionist stuck in the lotus position.

Manafort is charged with fraud, conspiracy and being Donald Trump's campaign manager.

There is a bipartisan group of House members called the Problem Solvers Caucus. what have they solved? That's the problem.

So far, the early line of Democratic presidential hopefuls would provoke Fox News to rejoice and cry, "Yes!"

This group includes Elizabeth Warren whose nomination would emit a "yes!" from Fox. They would pounce on her with that unfortunate "Pocahontas" smear -- the "lock her up" of 2020.

Unfair? Sure, but this is politics. If you want fairness, perhaps a nice game of croquet would suit you.

Another Democratic prospect is Senator Cory Booker of New Jersey. He is the former mayor of Newark and an African-American. Hashtag: too soon?

And of course, Uncle Joe Biden and Grandpa Bernie Sanders. Fox's reaction? "Assisted living."
In the indictment of the dirty dozen Russian hackers, no Americans are mentioned. Can Mueller not spell Papadopolous? Kushner?

The massive anti-Trump demonstrations in London resulted in arrests. Demonstrators were charged with impersonating Americans.

First, Trump criticized Prime Minister Theresa May. Then he praised her and then he criticized her. I understand that he regretted not having time to say hello to his good friend, Winston Churchill.

The Trump-Putin Summit: Trump thanks Putin for the election and Putin says, "what election?"

They go outside for the ceremonial shooting of reporters. Trump applauds.
Brett Kavanaugh for the Supreme Court? Antonin Scalia is gloating in his grave.

Kavanaugh would be the fifth Catholic justice. The non-Catholics ae Ginsberg, Kagen, Breyer, Roe and Wade.

Republicans, of course, are delighted with Trump's choice. When you are famous they let you do it.

Let you do what? Grab Lady Justice's pussy.
In Supreme Court decisions, Anthony Kennedy sometimes was one of the five and sometimes he was one of the four. He had a mood swing installed in his back yard.

Kennedy's record includes support of marriage equality and LGBT rights as well as gun rights and Trump's travel ban. Kennedy's bodyguard is a fully armed Gay Muslim.

Trump wants a new Justice before the November election and before Maxine Waters discovers where the Justice has dinner.

Prediction: Roe v Wade will not be overturned. Most of the 1972 Catholics are now Episcopalians.
Kudos to the president for ending the separation of families at the border. Henceforth, each family will share the same cage.

Only last week the president said that his hands were tied -- like when Stormy tied him to the bedpost.

Trump's executive order doesn't apply to the 2300 children whose officially designated location is GKW -- God Knows Where.

Trump's humanitarian gesture is motivating Congressional Republicans to pass an immigration bill -- just as soon as they finish investigating Hillary's emails.
Stabbed in the back! By our newest enemy, al qaeda Canada.

The most dangerous thing about those Canadians is that they look just like us, eh?

What other president could travel to Singapore, meet with the North Koreans, declare war on Canada and insult the entire Western World while reading "Diplomacy for Dummies" at the same time?

Bring on a Nobel Prize for Lunacy.
The Supreme Court ruled in favor of religious freedom for Christian bakers. Now, what about Christian butchers? (Slicing is speech).

Can a Christian butcher be forced to make sausages for a gay Polish wedding reception?

Can a Christian shoemaker be forced to save a gay person's sole?

Ain't religious freedom weird? "Don't take away our bigotry."
Game on in Singapore. Little Rocket Man vs Big Rocket Moron.

Or is it rope-a-dope between two dopes?

If North Korea gives us their nukes, we will lift the sanctions. Otherwise, they will have to deal with John Bolton, our Secretary of Armageddon.

Bolton is already in Singapore where customs officials searched his mustache for weapons. 
Separating families at the border. My God, we have reinvented day care.

And the parents don't even get a claim check.

If Trump became transgendered, her name would be Roseanne.

In cancelling "Roseanne" ABC went too far. They still love her in the Red States where Alabama wants to giver her her own plantation.

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