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What I learned from the debate -- and I knew you'd ask: The best way to beat ISIS is for General Douglas MacArthur to stop and frisk Rosie O'Donnell.

Both candidates appeared presidential but in Trump's case, President Mussolini.

If mugging and eye rolling were statesmanlike traits, Trump would be George Washington.

Moderator Lester Hold was missing for awhile. Did he duck out for a drink? They should have tied a yellow ribbon around his chair.

Trump made a snide remark about people who weigh 400 pounds. There goes Christie's support.

Hillary recalled her father being in the drapery business. Which may explain the red pants suit.

In the end, we are left with the question: where are Trump's tax returns? Maybe somebody should frisk Jimmy Hoffa.