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Cleveland, Day Four:

In his acceptance speech, Donald Trump finally looked presidential. President Mussolini.

Scary. How scary? I'm still under the bed where I'm writing this.

How scary? Outside the hall in Cleveland, Lake Erie froze.

But help is on the way. We look forward to next January 20 when no longer will we have to lock our doors at night.

Come January 20, the sun will shine, the flowers will bloom, the birds will sing, there will be no more crime and everyone will get a chocolate chip cookie and a puppy.

This nation will have a new birth of freedom and the Republican party will have a new logo: Ted Cruz's head on a spike.