Mark Russell
and Jay Leno
Art Buchwald, Chevy Chase and President Ford
Vivre la France
and Mort Sahl
and Woody Allen

A Few More Notes from Mark Russell

So, okay. Retirement was fine. For two years. I traveled. I read books. It was fun.

Fifty years ago I promised myself that I would retire on the day that I would be required to write a song about trans-vaginal ultrasounds. I decided to unretire when I heard that member of Congress had been cavorting in the Sea of Galilee. How can you make that up?

So, I'm back to work. Shortly a schedule of public shows will be listed. Also a list of PBS Stations that we know will be carrying a 30-year retrospective of my work, entitled "Mark Russell's America" during October and/or November. As they say, you should check your local listings or call your local station for the date and time.

We'll continue to update the website. We're still trying to figure out getting songs up. But we're working on it.
Thanks for asking about me and thanks for all the kind messages about my retirement. You will all get a personal response. It just might take a bit longer than I would like.

Oh, and one more thing. Don't forget to vote -- if only to keep political humor alive!

A Few More Notes from Mark Russell

A Note from Mark:

In 2010 I decided to stop performing. I had a show upcoming in July of that year, in one of my favorite venues, the Amphitheatre at Chautauqua Institution, and thought it would be a fine place to end 60 years of nearly non-stop performing and traveling.

It turned out to be a perfect night. My children and grandchildren who are scattered across the United States were in attendance, some of the grandchildren seeing me for the first time. They may still not understand what I did, but at least they saw me do it. A number of close friends, who were in the know that this would be my final show, also made the trek north from Washington, DC to Chautauqua, NY to join in this final evening.Read More

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Two and a half years of Trump-rule and there has been only one whistle blower. This indicates a critical shortage of whistles.

Keep in mind that this dirty campaign won't be over this November but a year from November. By then there will be a very high dirty, filthy, smelly wall of dirt and the American people are going to pay for it.

Ukraine elected a comedian as president. How unoriginal.

This truth is self-evident. Rudy Giuliani is the scum of the earth.

Here is a list of 20th Century expressions that Joe Biden should avoid. These expressions are the equivalent of an un-zipped fly.

Joe, don't ever say that you would blow something to smithereens. You don't need the 11 voters who know what the hell a smithereen is.

Never say that you are prepared to wait until the cows come home. Until hell freezes over is okay and besides, the cows are already home by now.

Quoting American historic figures is a campaign tradition. However, saying "as ole Strom Thurmond once said to me" would be the gaffe that broke the camel's back.

Joe, I wish I could have warned you not to refer to a record player in the last debate. I believe today they are called Victrola's.

Headlines that I missed this summer:

"Thousands of demonstrators arrested in Hong Kong charged with impersonating Patrick Henry!"

"Weather Bureau to Name Next Hurricane "Dorian Gray" Hoping That it will Morph into a Gentle 5MPH breeze."

"Polls Indicate that Nobody Cares What Polls Indicate."

"Dog Whistle Manufacturer Recalls Thousands of it's Whistles when Discovered They Could Only Be Heard by Humans."

You read it here first: Trump is a trade-monger.

I have come out of retirement about ten times in the last six months. This week's reason: Greenland.

Rumors abound about Trump's desire to buy Greenland, the Maui of the north.

Yes, the surfing and the sunbathing would make Mar-a-Lago Greenland special.

Would Denmark be willing to throw in Iceland as a matched set?

Apparently not if Denmark's response is any indication: "Take your offer and shove it up your fjord."

You're all invited to fundraiser for Congressman Steve King at the home of his parents who happen to be cousins.

Remember, Mr. King claims that much of humanity is the product of rape and incest. I guess that would include the Incestuous Daughters of the American Revolution and the Bastard Republican National Committees.

King's committees are already cut off -- which in Congress amounts to castration.

Always sad when we lose a distinguished member of the sex-trafficking community.

"I thought you were watching Jeffrey Epstein." "No, I thought you were watching Jeffrey Epstein."

Let the record show that Jeffrey Epstein sacrificed himself on the altar of saving Donald Trump's ass.

Let's just say that Mr. Epstein never met Donald Trump. Let's just say that "Fox & Friends" are fine with that.

Speaking of trafficking, let's just say that Epstein would have made a great Secretary of Transportation.

Seeking protection, NRA Chief, Wayne La Pierre, wants a secure 10,000 square foot mansion within a gated community. Not a bad design for a school.

Background checks don't work. We checked Trump's background and elected him anyway.

Behold how White Supremacists cling to the First Amendment. Did the Founders really claim that a swastika was speech?

Fifty years later, I'll never forget Woodstock. I was home listening to my Kate Smith records

Joe Biden is a heartbeat away from the September debate.

It's as if he and Kamala Harris were a married couple and Joe had to explain the lipstick on his collar.

Pete Buttigieg may not become president but he already holds the title: Most Overqualified Mayor that South Bend, Indiana has ever had.

"Too bad that Navy Seal William McCraven didn't kill Osama bin Laden a lot sooner" says Trump.

"And why didn't General Eisenhower conduct the invasion of Normandy on December 8, the day after Pearl Harbor?"

"And don't tell me that General Ulysses S Grant couldn't have whipped the South if he had been sober."

"And the way -- what was the point of Napoleon saving France when North Korea was much more needy?"

"Attila the Hun? Weak?"

The Catholic Bishops Conference Schedule:
Day One -- Prayers
Day Two -- Thoughts
Day Three -- Hope
Day Four -- Washing of Hands

How the Democrats will pursue presidential oversight and infrastructure at the same time: construct a safe and sturdy gallows.

What we learned from World War I: World War II had more songs.

Big change at the Justice Department under Matthew Whitaker. They are putting the word justice in quotes.