• Mark Russell
  • and Jay Leno
  • Art Buchwald, Chevy Chase and President Ford
  • Vivre la France
  • and Mort Sahl
  • and Woody Allen
  • Mark Russell
  • and Jay Leno
  • Art Buchwald, Chevy Chase and President Ford
  • Vivre la France
  • and Mort Sahl
  • and Woody Allen

A Few More Notes from Mark Russell

So, okay. Retirement was fine. For two years. I traveled. I read books. It was fun.

Fifty years ago I promised myself that I would retire on the day that I would be required to write a song about trans-vaginal ultrasounds.  I decided to unretire when I heard that member of Congress had been cavorting in the Sea of Galilee. How can you make that up?

So, I'm back to work. Shortly a schedule of public shows will be listed. Also a list of PBS Stations that we know will be carrying a 30-year retrospective of my work, entitled "Mark Russell's America" during October and/or November. As they say, you should check your local listings or call your local station for the date and time.

We'll continue to update the website.  We're still trying to figure out getting songs up. But we're working on it.
Thanks for asking about me and thanks for all the kind messages about my retirement. You will all get a personal response. It just might take a bit longer than I would like.

Oh, and one more thing.  Don't forget to vote -- if only to keep political humor alive!

A Note from Mark:

In 2010 I decided to stop performing.    I had a show upcoming in July of that year, in one of my favorite venues, the Amphitheatre at Chautauqua Institution, and thought it would be a fine place to end 60 years of nearly non-stop performing and traveling.    

It turned out to be a perfect night.   My children and grandchildren who are scattered across the United States were in attendance, some of the grandchildren seeing me for the first time.    They may still not understand what I did, but at least they saw me do it.   A number of close friends, who were in the know that this would be my final show, also made the trek north from Washington, DC to Chautauqua, NY to join in this final evening.Read More

Latest Jokes

Michael Cohen is living the American dream -- to become a lawyer and the owner of a cab company, a money laundry and The Swamp.

Cohen formed a shadow company called Essential Consultants to which AT&T paid $50K per month. Did Ma Bell get her money's worth? The shadow knows.

Essential Consultants was originally set up for the purpose of delivering hush money to porn star Stormy Daniels -- an election year essential, hence the name.

Poor old Ma Bell was exasperated saying, "if I knew that my money was going to that hussy, i never would have voted for Donald Trump."
I see where the State Department wants to regain its old "swagger". Swagger seminars will include teaching department officials how to walk like John Wayne.

The EPA has the swagger thing down pat. When Scott Pruitt accepts swag from lobbyists, he positively struts.

If Trump gets the Nobel Prize, he will swagger and thumb his nose at the same time.

To be honest, this administration needs more swagger like the Klan needs more Republicans.
John Kelly calls Trump an idiot. Truth serum in the water supply?

Comedian Michelle Wolf didn't go "too far". She went too long. By the next morning, some of the audience was still in a state of cringe.

Next year, the Correspondence dinner will play it safe. They have already booked a Mister Rogers impersonator.

No guns will be permitted at Mike Pence's Friday address at the NRA convention. White-haired lives matter.
Now that Raul Castro has stepped down in Cuba -- we must remember his late brother, Fidel, who owed his life to the US. Every time the CIA tried to assassinate him they screwed up.

Speaking of dictators, Trump's new chief attorney, Rudy Giuliani, reaches the pinnacle of his career -- supreme, overseer of the lawyers, the lawyers' lawyers and the lawyers' lawyers' lawyer.

Like a general, Rudy should be given a uniform with decorations including the Porn Star Payoff Medal and the Presidential Fixers Citation.

Since Jeff Sessions threatens to quit if Rod Rosenstein is fired, Washington is  hunkering down for the coming massacre, Saturday night or otherwise.  Fully prepared, the media has already stockpiled the Pulitzer prizes.  
"Mission Accomplished!" He knocked Stormy Daniels off the front page.

"Mission Accomplished!" He dropped a bomb on James Comey's book tour.

"Mission Accomplished!" In a brilliant maneuver he distracted the media, as reporters flocked to Google to find out who the hell Scooter Libby is.

When the FBI searched Michael Cohen's office and seized his phone, his computer and his personal collection of Stormy Daniels movies, Trump drew a red line in the sand.

Do you think he will fire Bob Mueller?
He's backed into a corner, it's true.
Do you think he will pardon Bill Cosby?
I wouldn't put it past him, would you?
If we ever arm teachers, chances are they would have to pay for their own bullets.

If you are not willing to pay a teacher a decent wage, at lest give her a big tip when you get out of her car.

Underpaid teachers are not a joke, even though the Secretary of Education is.

Some teachers in Catholic schools are nuns but that doesn't mean public school teachers have to take a vow of poverty.
There once was a man named Scott Pruitt
As the EPA honcho he blew it.
In the oil lobby's pocket
Hey, it's cozy, don't knock it
The Swamp would survive and we knew it.

Governor Jerry Brown has signed California's driverless vehicle law. With an auto-pen I presume.

The Federal Government is taking a hands off approach. Keep your hands off the steering wheel and trust the car to read the "No U Turn" sign.

If you happen to be mowed down by a driverless car, keep calm until a driverless ambulance arrives.  
I asked God to help me to love Donald Trump and God said "that's funny -- his mother just asked for the same thing."

For the Democratic ticket in 2020, I proposed Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders. They have the combined experience of a redwood.

Biden and Sanders would be a perfectly balanced ticket. One would capture the old geezer vote and the other would draw the old farts.

Question: if a doctor can run the Department of Veterans Affairs, can an infantryman be Surgeon General?
That NRA honcho, Wayne La Pierre, sure is scary. Perhaps the most dangerous French-named person since Marie Antoinette.

In a compromise, La Pierre gets to keep his gun but he loses his discount on Delta Airlines.

Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell are on top of the recent school shooting. Ryan does the thoughts and McConnell does the prayers. Sometimes they switch.

I claim not only my 2nd Amendment right but also my 3rd Amendment right to refuse to allow a British soldier to sleep in my house.
In Parkland, Florida, the good guy with the gun froze. As did the FBI.

While arming teachers, don't forget the Catholic schools. #NunsWithGuns. They could disarm a shooter with a ruler.

I know, it's not funny. Neither is a president who needs a written reminder to say, "I hear you" to students.

Question: Why did Trump make Paul Manafort his campaign chairman? Because he wanted the best deadbeat he could find.

The 2020 presidential campaign is sure starting early -- the Russians are already in New Hampshire.