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  • Mark Russell
  • and Jay Leno
  • Art Buchwald, Chevy Chase and President Ford
  • Vivre la France
  • and Mort Sahl
  • and Woody Allen
  • Mark Russell
  • and Jay Leno
  • Art Buchwald, Chevy Chase and President Ford
  • Vivre la France
  • and Mort Sahl
  • and Woody Allen

A Few More Notes from Mark Russell

So, okay. Retirement was fine. For two years. I traveled. I read books. It was fun.

Fifty years ago I promised myself that I would retire on the day that I would be required to write a song about trans-vaginal ultrasounds.  I decided to unretire when I heard that member of Congress had been cavorting in the Sea of Galilee. How can you make that up?

So, I'm back to work. Shortly a schedule of public shows will be listed. Also a list of PBS Stations that we know will be carrying a 30-year retrospective of my work, entitled "Mark Russell's America" during October and/or November. As they say, you should check your local listings or call your local station for the date and time.

We'll continue to update the website.  We're still trying to figure out getting songs up. But we're working on it.
Thanks for asking about me and thanks for all the kind messages about my retirement. You will all get a personal response. It just might take a bit longer than I would like.

Oh, and one more thing.  Don't forget to vote -- if only to keep political humor alive!

A Note from Mark:

In 2010 I decided to stop performing.    I had a show upcoming in July of that year, in one of my favorite venues, the Amphitheatre at Chautauqua Institution, and thought it would be a fine place to end 60 years of nearly non-stop performing and traveling.    

It turned out to be a perfect night.   My children and grandchildren who are scattered across the United States were in attendance, some of the grandchildren seeing me for the first time.    They may still not understand what I did, but at least they saw me do it.   A number of close friends, who were in the know that this would be my final show, also made the trek north from Washington, DC to Chautauqua, NY to join in this final evening.Read More

Latest Jokes

Fifty thousand children walked across the border and without hesitation, Congress said, "we'll get to it as soon as we come back" from their ill-deserved vacation.

 

Congress taking the month of August off

Doing nothing must be tough.

Before they return let us ask ourselves

Will one month be enough? 

 

For their vacation, I'd like to see them go

To Ukraine or the Gaza Strip.

Syria is lovely this time of year

And make it a one-way trip.

 

But they will be back with their usual attacks

Oh, it's going to be even drearier.

For the daily stump speech

Shouting, "We must impeach!"

While kissing the Tea Party's posterior.

It has been several days without an impeachment charge against Obama. Somebody should check and see if the wacko-birds are feeling all right.

Bulletin:  Israeli bombs accidentally kill Gaza militants.

Children in Gaza must be gotten out of there and sent to the relative safety of Mexico.

I see where Egypt is trying to broker a cease fire in Gaza. Egypt? Not exactly Brigadoon. Oh - the Nile.

Flights to Israel have been cancelled. Netanyahu asks would-be tourists to please send the money.

We keep spying on Germany. Or, as my generation calls it -- nostalgia.

Our head spy in Berlin has been thrown out of the country and another of our secret agents in Germany has been arrested. This is getting creepy. I've seen this movie before.

What's next? Down in Casablanca Rick won't give the letters of transfer to Ilsa and there's gambling going on? Rick yells at Sam for playing "As Time Goes By" and gets drunk?

Maybe Rick and Ilsa had a baby who grew up to be German Chancellor Angela Merkel.

Look how Germany just devastated Brazil. Where next -- Poland?  

 

 

Former New Orleans mayor, Ray Nagin, was sentenced to 10 years for conduct typical of a mayor -- the usual fraud, bribes, etc.

Officials of a New York Catholic church are distressed that their church is located on the newly named "George Carlin Way". An exorcist may be called in to cast out the demon street sign.

Today's impeachable offense by Obama: asking for $4 billion to process the children who poured in from Central America. Republican solution: leave every child behind.

That's 55 thousand unwanted children. I didn't know Hobby Lobby was in Central America.

 

The 2016 Republican National Convention will be held in the formerly maligned city of Cleveland. Which currently maligned candidate will they pick?

Cleveland still has time to eradicate the goofy stereotype logo of the Cleveland Indians ball team "Chief Wahoo". (Cue the tom toms).

Or, the feathered and painted Chief Wahoo could greet the Republican delegates arriving with much wampum.

We can imagine how excited Cleveland must be in anticipating it's good fortune. After all, in 1980 the Republicans met in Detroit and look how well that turned out.

The Supreme Court made it official: Hobby Lobby is a religion second only to the World Cup.

Hobby Lobby won't be required to provide certain birth control coverage for its employees.  Never mind that half the stuff they sell is made in China, home of the drive thru abortion.

Speeding up its efficiency, General Motors will be recalling cars the minute they come off the assembly line.

What a sight -- Democrats and Republicans joining hands and singing "We Shall Overcome" to commemorate Freedom Summer. But why were the Republicans mouths closed? They were humming "Dixie".

 

Headlines:

Pope excommunicates Mafia -- 50 percent fewer Catholics in New Jersey.

Egyptian government locks up journalists and shuts down popular television satirist -- climate right for "Saturday Night Dead".

Congress refuses to vote on sending troops to Iraq, even while blindfolded -- all 535 look at each other and say, "you first".

Trouble breaks out wherever John Kerry appears -- experts suggest, "for peace in our time, keep Kerry home".

Washington Redskins owner, Dan Snyder proposes name change to Wounded Knee Stadium.

 

Middle East fighting intensifies between bitter factions led by Barack Hussein Obama and Supreme Caliph, John L McCain.

The aircraft carrier USS George HW Bush has been rushed to the region. No word as yet about the dinghy USS GW Bush or the garbage scow, USS Cheney.

We are sending "non combat" troops to Iraq. There is no such thing as the entire planet is a combat zone -- with the possible exception of Antarctica, so long as the penguins aren't armed.

Our new enemy, ISIS replaces our old enemy and possible new best friend, Iran! (Good luck with the bomb, guys.)

Obama's latest impeachable offense: Withdrawing the troops from Iraq in 2011 as stipulated in a treaty signed by George W Bush in 2008.

Throwback Thursday -- 20 Years Ago

6/17/94. Let us not forget OJ Simpson is innocent until a blood-stained Heisman Trophy is found at the scene of the murder.

Another major media event for Los Angeles. It's got everything -- a sports idol, a love triangle, and best of all -- not one building has collapsed. So far.

6/22/94. TIME Magazine took considerable heat over its cover photo of OJ. The mug shot was altered to a sinister looking darker shade, raising speculation that TIME's new owner is Ted Turner, the king of colorization.

To avoid a circus atmosphere, trials are sometimes moved away from the location in which the crime took place. The Simpson trial may have to be moved to Siberia or Mars.

Lawyers are by nature the kind of people who watched OJ on the LA freeway for two hours and thought to themselves, "I'd take that case."

Hillary told Diane Sawyer how broke she and Bill were when they left the White House and no wonder. Those defense attorneys were expensive.

Polls show that most people hope that Bowe Bergdahl gets a fair trial before being shipped to Guantanamo.

Five empty cells --- no waiting.

The White House had its own battle plan: to draw enemy fire -- send in Susan Rice.